If you’ve been following, you know that I’m busy shaping and scoring bread. Bread dough is an ornery thing, and shaping it without deflating it entirely (bad) or overworking it so that it gets cranky, resists your every effort and needs to be put down for a nap (time delay) is most complex. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
At this stage in the game we pretty much all suck, but the pastry students like to look at the culinary students and laugh at the way they shape bread because while nobody really knows yet who has The Touch, it’s pretty darn clear Who Doesn’t — and they’re generally Culinary. I only know this because they’re usually grumbling about how they hate baking while they run their blades through the dough in the same spot over and over (a no-no. If you don’t get the score right the first time, walk away; it’s dead to you. It makes it ten times worse to try to saw the blade through again).
So this lovely loaf in the photo, above, turned up at the table next to mine. We were all ogling it for the train wreck it was, but were trying not to be gauche about it.
I happened to have my phone out snapping pictures of my own loaves and I couldn’t resist trying to cop a feel on this beauty.
I sidled over all nonchalant and went in for a shot but the owner turned around right as I framed up and said, “Are you taking a picture of my loaf??”
And I said, “Nope, I’m texting” and pretended I was texting. When I obviously wasn’t texting.
So busted. And since my table partner couldn’t stop laughing, I sighed and said, “Yes.” And then took the shot.
Think I might say something smooth after that? Something consoling and appropriately optimistic?
I shrugged and said, “Every baby is a cute baby.” And then I beat it out of there.
Every baby is a cute baby.
Sorry, I’m still kinda laughing, actually.
Maybe you had to be there.
Let this be a cautionary tale to you. If you’re going to laugh at other people’s messed up loaves — which you should, because it’s funny — have the decency to do it from your own lab table using the zoom lens.
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